Most of the time, when people mention affair sex, they assume it’s so good it’s almost mind-blowing. They assume it has to be this good to be worth the risk. Many spouses who have someone cheating on them also make this assumption, even if their spouse does everything in their power to insist that this is not true.

For example, you might hear a conversation like this: “My husband is trying to claim that his affair wasn’t about sex. In fact, he insists that the sex wasn’t even good. He says that sex is better with me and the other woman didn’t really know what she was into. But he says the point of the affair was never about sex. It’s assumed that he was attracted to her because she listened to him and supported him, or so he claims. he only says this because he didn’t He wants me to have problems with sex if we stay together.

Well, everyone assumes this. But I’ve had people comment that their affair was definitely not about sex, just like this husband. Many of them say that the affair was more about excitement, emotional attachment and support, and having someone who seems to appreciate them without expectations.

For example, a husband might say, “When people see the other woman, they always assume she was only in it for the sex. She wasn’t. I won’t say we didn’t have sex because we did.” But that was never the draw for me. I’ve been friends with the other woman for a long time. I made some bad investments that meant I had to cut back on expenses. This caused my wife to treat me differently. She was always angry and was always making sarcastic comments about me. The other woman is not like that. She is happy to just go to lunch and talk. She doesn’t expect me to buy her things and she doesn’t want to be waited on. She is happy only with me. This is a huge relief when compared to my wife’s expectations.”

I hear these kinds of comments a lot. And I hear them from people who don’t have to lie to me. I don’t know their spouses, so I can’t speak highly of them. They just want to take their feelings out on someone, which is often the reason they had an affair in the first place.

And I’m not saying that this justifies them. There are no excuses. But I think adventures based on emotions are just as dangerous, if not more so, than adventures based on sex. Any time your spouse gets someone else to meet your marital needs, that’s a problem.

But many therapists and professions will tell you that an affair is much more than sex. I am not a professional, but I certainly believe this. Sex is just one aspect of the relationship, but it’s certainly not the only aspect.

Many people cannot believe that a man would risk his marriage or his family for bad sex. The point is that sex is not your reward. Your reward is satisfying your emotional needs. His reward is the fact that the other woman does not make him feel pressured. She makes him feel relevant again.

Now, is this the reality? Definitely not. If the affair continues, the other woman is likely to develop expectations over time. People love to think that their partner wants nothing from them or has no expectations or demands. But it is unrealistic to expect that things will always be this way. The more serious and lasting the relationship, the more expectations there will be.

And then this happens, the husband will often lose interest because he can meet expectations at home without much trouble.

Of course, the original question was about sex, so let’s get back to that. Lots of people will tell you that adventure sex is wonderful and some of them really believe it. But most people will tell you that sex with the same person over time (such as your spouse) is also good sex because that person knows you. They know what you like and what you don’t like. It is likely that you have adjusted your physical connection for the long term.

The person involved cannot say this. The relationship is often just beginning. Sure, there’s a bit of novelty, but even that wears off quickly. Sometimes sex starts off being perceived as good or even great, but once it’s gone, it’s nothing special.

I can’t tell you or guess how the sex with your husband and the other woman went. But I can tell you that not everyone says loving sex was always good. Many will tell you that it was nothing special, but that was fine with them because intercourse was not the draw. The way the other person managed to make them feel was the draw. Or the relief they felt from some stressor or flaw was the appeal.