1. An artist got into a time machine. He pushed the control panel to go back to the Old West, 1850. When he got there, he opened the door of the machine. He did not survive after getting there, as an outlaw saw how weird he was dressed and challenged him to a shootout. When the villain said: “Draw!” the artist took out his sketch pad and pencil.
2. Bill and Susan, a couple of college kids who secretly met every night in a barn. This comes from years ago. It could be said that their relationship was… “stable”.
3. In 1970, a father sat down with his son to talk. The father talked to him about “birds and bees.” But the conversation was cut short when the son received a call from the US Army recruiting department, telling him that the Army Corps wanted him to come to Ft. Bliss in Texas immediately by tomorrow. Five years passed and the son went to college graduating Magna Cum Laude in four years. He married and had several children. Before that, he started working at a great investment firm in New York City. It wasn’t until the year 2000 that he returned to his parents’ house. He saw his father and asked, “Do you remember before you left home to join the army, we never finished talking about ‘birds and bees.'”
4. A chemistry teacher was invited into a classroom full of high school students. He asked them outside, where he showed them some interesting reactions between products like soda, toothpaste, and Mentos breath freshener. The reactions were incredible foams of all colors. He told the class to go home and look for safe products that, combined, would create interesting and fun reactions like the one he did today. The next day the kids brought sodas and baking soda which created a volcanic foam. Another found a creative way to blow up a banana with firecrackers. The only boy left spoke very little. He said he went to the nuclear reaction plant where his father worked and took out a cell phone and told his father to “turn it on.” “Mine is a nuclear explosion.” Before everyone stopped laughing at him, in a matter of seconds, there was an explosion so fierce that it burned down the town and the school.
5. If you’ve seen the movie “Rudy” about a college boy who is obsessed with Notre Dame football and goes to big fields to play for them, you’ll love the parody called “Ruddy” where a boy who is obsessed with playing football for Vanderbilt University.
6. So, a teenager and his older sister are in the attic looking for old furniture. After finding what they’re looking for, the sister tells her brother to “turn off that light.” So, she raises her hand and extends her middle finger on the switch.