For some people, being in a relationship with someone who is unreliable, unpredictable and has the need to keep them on the edge and in a place of uncertainty is not going to interest them. If they were in this position, it could only be a matter of time before they left.

Being with someone like this will be like offering dark chocolate to someone who cannot bear it; it will repel them. A quick decision will be made, allowing them to walk away.

I’ve been there, done that

Someone like that may have been with various people in the past who were not mentally and emotionally healthy. Thanks to this, it may not take long for them to realize if someone else is like this.

As a result, it may not take long for them to see if someone else is healthy, which prevents them from entering into a relationship with someone who is not. It may have taken a lot of work on themselves to get to this point.

A conscious process

If this is the case, they will not have lost the desire to be with someone like that; it will be something that has required a lot of time and effort. Perhaps one came to realize that they weren’t randomly ending up with people like this, and that they were playing a role in what was happening.

Then it would have been clear that they were the common denominator, not simply an observer of what was happening. Getting to this point may have hurt your ego in the short term, but it would have benefited your true self in the long run.

A challenge

What may have made this process more difficult than necessary was the kind of feedback they received from their friends and family. These people may have told you that they were basically just a victim, that they were not involved in what happened.

If this was the case and they had agreed with this view, it would have prevented them from moving forward. Instead, the people “out there” would have had to change, thus preventing them from being able to do something in this area of ​​their life.

Another experience

On the other hand, there are going to be people who are not interested in this type of person either, but have not been able to move on to the next stage. Someone like that could have been in a relationship that wasn’t healthy at all.

Now that they are single, they may feel like they need a long time to recover from everything they have been through. However, they may find that part of them still longs for the person they were with.

A strange scenery

This may not be the first time this has happened either, as they have this experience every time they break up with someone like that. A part of them will know then that their ex was not healthy, but another part will want to be with them.

If you are aware of this and are not attracted to it, you can make sure you don’t go back to them. But, if the part of them that wants to get back with their ex is really strong, they may find that it’s only a matter of time before they get back.

Confusion

If this didn’t happen and they end up with someone who is not emotionally unpredictable, they may be feeling bored. Then they will have what they want, someone who is reliable, consistent and not interested in playing, for example, and they will not be able to hug them.

Before this happened, they may have told themselves that they want someone who is different and they may have said the same to their friends. Then it may be difficult for them to understand why they feel this way.

A deeper look

Depending on how someone like this experiences life, it will become clear that they are experiencing a great deal of internal conflict. If their inner world were more harmonious, there would be no need for them to want to be with someone who is not good for them.

The small part of them that does not want to be with someone like that will be left out by most of them who do. What this can show is that being with someone like that is familiar and therefore associated with being safe on a deeper level.

A dysfunctional association

When you are in a relationship with someone who is all over the place and you never know where you stand with him, you may find that this gives you a high. This may be due to the adrenaline that is released within them, being in fight or flight mode.

This adrenaline rush will make you feel alive, and it will be something your brain and body crave. So on a deeper level, experiencing adrenaline and feeling on edge will be what will be associated with love.

Back in time

It may seem strange why someone would have this association; After all, this is not love. What this can show is that their early years were a time when they lived in an environment that was not safe.

Perhaps one of their caretakers abused them in some way, which would have meant that it would have been normal for them to be in fight or light mode and their system to be flooded with adrenaline. Having these experiences would have traumatized your being, however what you went through would be associated with what is familiar to your unconscious mind. For this part of them, what is familiar is what is associated as safe, regardless of whether it is healthy or unhealthy.

Awareness

Recreating what they experienced as children in their adulthood will also be a way for them to resolve what happened. However, the only way for this to happen is if one is able to connect the dots, so to speak, and work through his internal wounds.

This is something that can happen with the help of a therapist or healer. Reconfiguring your being won’t happen overnight, but it will happen if you get the help you need and don’t give up.