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It’s funny how most of us can be captivated by people throwing, running, catching or kicking a ball. Leather or pigskin, it doesn’t matter. We love it.

We marvel at the athleticism, the monstrous abilities, the ability to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat and vice versa. We love it when it goes right and we love it just as much when it goes wrong because then we become that exalted oracle of all that is good and true, aka the parlor critic.

We love field entertainment. But every now and then an elite athlete comes along who can be just as funny just by opening his mouth and saying a few words. One of those people is an Australian rugby player named Nick Cummins.

To know Nick Cummins is to love him. But the hard part is getting to know him, especially if you don’t come from Australia. Nick Cummins speaks English but not like you know it. To follow what he says requires an understanding of the peculiar eccentricities of Australian English. If you don’t get it, you won’t know what the hell he’s talking about.

Let me give you a couple of Nick Cummins-isms so you understand what I mean.

Nick Cummins has a nickname. He is known as the honey badger. He was interviewed after a rugby match and asked how he came up with the nickname and this is what he had to say:

“One of the stories that inspires me is that it is documented that a honey badger killed a lion in a one-on-one. What happened was he ripped the baskets off the big guy. bag and the big guy came around the corner and fell… that’s extraordinary to me.”

If you read that paragraph two or three times, you might understand what he is referring to. Something like. Possibly. The Japanese don’t. Nick Cummins currently plays professionally in Tokyo and the Japanese called him Honey Budge, which is kind of cute.

But really, Nick Cummins needs to be accompanied at all times by a professional translator. Lucky for you, I speak perfect Australian and am happy to translate his best quotes into something close to English.

Quote: “I just saw the line, stuck my ears back, and ended up pocketing some meat in the corner, which was for the best.”

Translation: I saw the test lane, pushed to the limit of my abilities and managed to score, which was nice.

Quote: “Yeah mate, I was like a rat in a drain pipe on one of them.”

Translation: I ran particularly fast in one case.

Quote: “He was huffing and puffing and, man, he did good, he always does, he’s a hard cock.”

Translation: My teammate was breathing heavily but persevered. He always does. He is very resistant.

Quote: “I’m going to have a truck full of pudding and, uh, mommy’s good at cooking too, so daddy’s got the tucker ready over there and mommy and daddy are going to work together and put together a mass feed and I’m going to come in.” and master it.”

Translation: I intend to eat a large volume of pudding. My mother is also more than competent in the culinary arts. My father is preparing food there. The two will combine their talents to create a meal of sufficiently large proportions. Then I intend to devour it all.

Quote: “I was busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest.”

Translation: I was under extraordinary pressure due to the workload they gave me during the game.

Of course, when people hear Nick Cummins come out with this stuff, they’re a little shocked, but in a good way. Borrowing an Australianism, the Honey Badger is a fair character and sadly there are very few of them.

But it would be too easy and unfair to describe Nick Cummins as a one-trick pony when it comes to producing action we can laugh at and admire both on and off the sports field.

He is also a very devoted and loving son to his parents and his brothers and sisters. As a rugby player, Nick Cummins is at the top of his game. He plays test rugby for Australia. But he very recently turned his back on the game in Australia to play professional rugby in Japan, but not for the reasons you might think.

Yes, he did it for the money. But not for him, but for his family. Nick Cummins’ father has incurable prostate cancer which has prevented him from working and has been a considerable drain on the family finances. Nick Cummins has seven siblings, two of whom have cystic fibrosis, an incurable lung disease. So Nick stepped in and stepped forward. He accepted a lucrative contract, but will go to help the family in very difficult times.

Cummins has 40,000 followers on Instagram, 34,000 on Twitter, and his game videos have millions of views on YouTube.

He is one of the few people who can win over an entire host nation on an Australian rugby tour with a few chosen words in a post-match television interview.

While in Japan, he filmed some TV commercials. You should take a look at them. Just like the old spice boy, but much funnier in my opinion.

So it’s gone but not forgotten. Hopefully she’ll be back soon to entertain us again. The world needs guys like Nick Cummins and not just because we like to see a skilled athlete. He makes us laugh and that is the best medicine there is.

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