FRUSTRATION: We feel we are getting worse, instead of better. We practice a certain figure a thousand times and it doesn’t feel any easier. So how can this be a good sign?

The key word here is “feel”. Just because we don’t feel progress doesn’t mean we’re not actually getting better. Coordinating the brain and the body is not an overnight process.

Frustration is a sign that we have worked on tango enough to take our dance to the next level. It also means that we care enough to do things right.

what to do about it: Constant practice and determination are great attributes. But to effectively deal with frustration, we will need to implement patience. We sometimes assign negative connotations to patience, equating it with something devious like sitting through a boring movie or waiting for a package from Amazon to arrive.

To learn tango, patience is an active attribute, not a passive one. It must be applied in all phases of learning. It helps us maintain a sense of calm, allows us to measure our progress more honestly, and keeps negativity at bay.

IMPOSITION SYNDROME: We have our own ideas of what a good dancer is… and we don’t think we live up to them. In our heads, we believe we have an accurate image of what it must feel like to be that good dancer… and we pursue that feeling relentlessly.

However, people tell us how good we are and some even admire us. In practices, beginners come to us for help more often (if they don’t now, they will soon). Why? They are crazy? Okay, when we explain things, we feel like we know what we’re talking about… but we just don’t think we’re qualified to give any helpful advice or comments.

The truth is that we will probably never feel as “good” as we want to. We do not internalize our achievements, dismissing our achievements as luck or fearing that we have unknowingly deceived others.

But I’m willing to bet that any tango dancer, no matter how good or famous, also experiences some degree of impostor syndrome; The largely irrational fear of being a fraud or feeling unqualified. As we become better dancers, we are likely to look at others who are ahead of us and feel depressed. And then we are in danger of having a distorted and negative perception of our own abilities.

What to do about it: Let’s think about the way we danced several weeks, months, or years ago, and compare our skills then to now. There is every chance that we will be much better at tango today. If necessary, let’s grab a pen and write down the number of steps we can do now compared to a few months ago. Isn’t that proof that our dance is going in a positive direction?

Let’s also think about why tango makes us happy in the first place. Becoming a better dancer is somehow linked to happiness, but is being that “good dancer”, the one we imagine in our heads, the only way to be happy?

These cases of great discomfort are neither fun nor inescapable. In tango, or in any other activity, these situations can become an opportunity to improve. But discomfort can also be the result of something going well but being interpreted from the wrong perspective.