Peter Lovenheim lives in an affluent suburb of Rochester, New York. In February 2000, a murder-suicide involving a medical couple occurred at a house down the street from him. Two children ran out of the house after 10 pm screaming that his father had killed his mother. No one in the neighborhood knew the family well, who had lived there for seven years. Lovenheim was puzzled at how a street of 36 houses lacked a sense of community. He wanted to meet the people whose homes he passed by every day, regardless of their professions or number of children. He wanted to know the depth of her experience and her essence. Lovenheim knew from childhood sleepovers and summer home exchanges that waking up in their beds, preparing meals in their kitchen, and walking through their neighborhoods provided insight that conversation alone couldn’t achieve. His mission would require a sleepover. Some residents refused; and yet many said yes. In the Neighborhood: The Search for Community on an American Street, One Sleepover at a Time, it’s Lovenheim’s nearly decade-long experience of embracing its neighborhood.

Eighty-one-year-old Lou was the first resident to honor Lovenheim’s request to sleep through the night. Lou, a retired surgeon, lost his wife of 52 years, Edie, five years ago and misses her dearly. They raised six children who now live in the US Lou welcomes Lovenheim’s company, as his schnauzer Heidi is his only companion. Lovenheim accompanies Lou to the local Y where he works out. There, his usual training partners celebrate Lou’s arrival. He appreciates the acclaim from him, reminding her of his popularity during his days as a surgeon. However, when he returns home to an empty house, as Lou puts it, “My life is zero.”

Patti, in her mid-40s, lives very close to Lou and they are not related. Patti, a radiologist, diagnosed her own aggressive form of breast cancer. She abandoned medicine to undergo chemotherapy. Lovenheim befriends Patti, a divorced mother of two preteen daughters. She also accepts her sleepover request. Lovenheim witnesses her health deteriorate over time and helps her whenever he can.

Grace, in her late 90s, had walked through the Lovenheim neighborhood almost every day for forty years without being recognized. She lived in a nearby town but chose to exercise among the beautiful surroundings of suburban Rochester. Residents called it “The Walker” from afar. Lovenheim approached Grace during one of her walks and explained her book project to her. She invited him to her apartment where she learned her fascinating past. She once lived in New York City and was an accomplished pianist and harpist. Once, while she was walking, she fell. She crawled across the street back to her car and headed to the emergency room. Lovenheim questions whether a place where an old woman falls and is left unattended can be called a “neighborhood”.

The married couple, Deb 32 and Doug, 42 represent the younger faces of Lovenheim Street. Lovenheim spends the night and feels a more self-sufficient couple. Both are on the fast track in corporate America, childless and trying to conceive. They are active members of the local country club. Deb tells Lovenheim that she once needed vanilla for cookies and had Dave drive in a snowstorm to buy some. Ideally, she thought, she should have been able to borrow something from him as her neighbor.

Lovenheim rides with Brian the paperboy at 4:00am to experience his street from a different perspective. He also walks alongside Postman Ralph’s delivery truck (postal regulations prevent passengers from the vehicle) as he makes his daily route. Ralph narrates helping residents, including recognizing signs of a stroke in a client and calling for help. Lovenheim believes that Ralph knows more about his neighbors than they do: “I began to realize that, in a way, he was a better neighbor to us than we were to ourselves.”

Lovenheim validates their neighbor efforts by introducing Patti to Lou. Lou appreciates the opportunity to drive Patti to her medical appointments; making him feel needed. Lovenheim borrows Deb’s sidewalk salt; and he agrees to take Patti’s daughter to the skating rink while her health deteriorates. When Lovenheim’s romantic interest ends, he turns to Lou for comfort. They share breakfast almost daily for two weeks while Lovenheim readjusts. “That I would end up being the one to find refuge in a neighbor’s house is something that never occurred to me when I started my journey, yet there it was,” says Lovenheim.

Lovenheim deserves credit for taking on such an assertive project. He showed immense patience as he befriended his neighbors for a time before requesting to stay the night. He too faced rejection from those tired of his intentions.

In an age of social media where we’re quick to boast more than 50,000 “followers” on Twitter, reading Lovenheim’s narrative begs the question: Do we actually know our next-door neighbor?

For thought-provoking questions about neighborhoods, see in the neighborhood Reading Guide: http://us.penguingroup.com/static/rguides/us/in_the_neighborhood.html.