Flirting with men is so fun and so simple. So why don’t we? A man recently wrote to me that it was true that flirting was a great way for women to attract men, but that he “had yet to experience this from a woman, it must be fun!”
Men LOVE it when women flirt with them! They love the fun aspect: the playful banter, the dance of eye contact, and the sheer joy of being surprised by the unexpected.
Best of all, flirting is immensely flattering. It is an indication of interest in another person, even if that interest is not romantic in nature. The best flirts know how to make the other person feel special without expecting anything in return.
If you’re going to improve your flirting skills with men, here are three tips that will give you a SUPER flirty mindset.
1. Flirting is fun, not serious.
If you pay a man a compliment, are you flirting? If you make eye contact, does it count as flirting? If a stranger made fun of you on your way to the bar, was he flirting? What exactly is flirting, anyway?
Flirting is distinguished by its playful character. You can’t be a serious flirt. Do you remember how boys used to make fun of you in elementary school and you used to joke around with them? That’s the kind of playful spirit you want to invoke while flirting (although I don’t recommend pulling anyone’s pigtails!).
A flirty encounter will generally involve three elements:
- humor (or wit),
- risk, and
- A show of interest.
For example, a witty comment is a common way to start flirting with someone, but by being the first to make a move, you risk rejection. If your flirtatious remark crosses the line, you also run the risk that the other person won’t find your sense of humor amusing.
Beginning flirts can find it uncomfortable to put themselves in the vulnerable position of showing their interest in another person without knowing if that person will respond. That is why the following point is so important.
2. The best flirting practice for everyone.
You will never become a great flirt if you only flirt with men you like. Flirting is one of life’s greatest joys and should be practiced whenever and wherever possible. Flirt with the cafeteria waiter. Flirt with the bus driver. Flirt with the old man behind you in line.
When flirting becomes a part of your daily life instead of a specialized skill that you apply only when you meet a potential Mr. Right, you’ll find that magic begins to happen. You make friends more easily. You become the life of the party. You find it easier to strike up a conversation with strangers.
Best of all, when flirting feels natural to you, you’ll no longer feel awkward when confronted by a handsome man you’d like to get to know better. You will feel safe, because you know that other people have enjoyed your flirtation. You won’t even have time to get nervous, because your flirting skills will kick in and start the conversation for you.
But being the best flirt in the world won’t protect you from the one thing every flirt has to deal with: rejection.
3. Don’t take rejection personally.
The only sure way to kill the spirit of flirtation is to see it in terms of success and failure. As I said before, your goal is simply to make the other person feel special without expecting anything in return. If the other person doesn’t want to return your comment or wink, he’s no more devastating than a playmate who says he doesn’t want to play right now.
Fortunately, your chances of rejection are lower than you think. Most people go through life wanting more connection with others. When we’re standing in a crowded elevator or waiting in line at a busy store, most of us would love to have someone strike up a conversation with us. It can be a pleasure to meet someone new, even if our conversation only lasts a few minutes.
Think of your flirting as an offer: you’re offering someone the chance to connect, and if they don’t want to take it, you just offer it to the next person.
Unfortunately, the art of flirting has diminished so much that many people don’t know what to do when someone flirts with them. They may feel uncomfortable and turn their backs or ignore the flirtatious look or comment because they have no idea what to do.
If you keep a playful mindset while flirting and practice it whenever and wherever you can, you’ll find that your fears of rejection dissipate until you can no longer remember why you let them stop you from making the first move.
For a more detailed discussion of flirting tacticslook no further than How to be irresistible to men. Sarah Paul’s original eBook will teach you how to use flirting to take your interactions with a man to the next level. You’ll also learn how to be funny, how to master the art of conversation, and how to compliment a man. It’s everything YOU need to know about flirting, in an easy step-by-step format. And it’s all part of the whole How to be irresistible to men Of course, that includes tips on how to kiss and how to overcome any shyness that might be keeping you from flirting with men.
You can learn more at:
http://www.000relationships.com/take/