You see each other, you like what you see and talk a bit, you find out there is a connection between you and you get to know each other better, you start dating and before you know it you are in a relationship. Like all relationships, you have your good times and your bad times. I don’t know if their relationship had problems or if he thought everything was going well. And then, for whatever reason, you hurt him. And somehow, you want to win him back after hurting him deeply.
You have obviously realized, perhaps a little late, that you love him and that you believe that your relationship still has potential. Before you talk to him, before you apologize to him, before you make your promises, you have to know why you hurt him. Could it have been a stupid mistake or was it more? For you to hurt him like this, there has to be some issues in your relationship that caused you to do what you did. Relationship problems are not an excuse, what you did was of your own free will but you have to deal with it or else your relationship will not stand a chance.
Why do you want to be with him?
Does he still want to be with you?
If you want to get him back after hurting him deeply, then you have to make sure it’s him. You hurt him a lot, and he will be going through an emotional roller coaster, he will be nervous to trust you again, so when you are trying to win him back, you have to appear 100% sure that your relationship is meant to be. If you have any doubts, your body language will give you away.
When you enter into a relationship, you give your trust to your partner, after all, you cannot build a relationship without trust. As you get to know each other, that trust increases or decreases, depending on your experiences with that person. Even something as simple as saying you’ll take out the trash and then doing it builds confidence. Every time you say you will do something, you give your word. Every time you keep your word, your partners’ trust in you increases by a fraction. Although trust is the foundation that sustains your relationship, it is also a very fragile thing. When you destroy trust in your relationship, you destroy something that may never be rebuilt.
When you destroy trust in your relationship, your relationship will never be the same again. Restoring his trust in you will be a long process, and if you want your relationship to survive, you have to do whatever it takes to win it back. You have lost the right to be automatically trusted, you have to get your trust back. On a more positive note, if you both work to heal your relationship, it may become stronger than it was before all this started.
You need to give him time to work through his emotions, trying to talk things out when both of you are emotionally strained will only make things worse.
In order to win him back after hurting him deeply, you need to show that you can be trusted and that you understand the damage you’ve done to him. You must take responsibility for your actions and admit what you have done. You should tell him everything, if he still has unanswered questions, he won’t get closure and will be suspicious of your motives. When you apologize, you should let him know that you will never do it again and show him that you understand how you hurt him.
While you’re talking about what you did, it’s a good time to look at why you did it and any relationship issues that might have pushed you in that direction. You need to deal with your problems in a way that both of you are happy with. Talk about the future of your relationship, talk about what he will do to win back his trust, and if there is anything he wants you to do.
If you need to see your phone records or your emails, if you need to know who you’re with or what you’re doing, let them know. If you say you’re going to do something then do it. Every action you take that reaffirms his faith in you will rebuild that trust.
If you can win him back after hurting him deeply, then you can use what happened as a springboard to reinvigorate your relationship. Do what you can to make your relationship the best it can be. By being totally honest about what you do and sharing your life with him, you can graduate to the point of sharing your lives together. If you both love each other and are committed to healing and rebuilding the relationship, then you have an opportunity to build something special.