You’ve passed them on the street or in the mall and looked at them curiously and possibly walked away in disgust. You know what I mean, it’s the teenagers of today, what used to be the fringe, the counterculture, which has now become more mainstream, the ones with the nose rings and pierced tongues. You silently wonder “how can they eat like that or blow their nose?” And then one day, her 16-year-old daughter comes home from school talking about her friend Mallory’s new belly button ring. She thinks she’s cool and wants one. You are totally against the idea, but how do you handle this situation?

Some teens respond positively to “Not while you’re under my roof” and wait until they move or go to college. Other teens may say “Okay, I’ll go then” and move on. According to Woodinville, Wash. therapist Elaine Pool, “you know your teen best.” She needs to know what kind of limits work and what kind of limits don’t. If your teen is someone she can reason with, ask her to help you research the issue, and if after the research it still sounds like a good idea, then she can negotiate.

Research the topic together and get all the facts, including sitting through someone else’s procedure so you and your teen get a realistic picture of what’s going on. What exactly is body piercing? Body piercing is the creation of a hole, with a needle, in a part of the skin in order to wear a ring or button through that part. This part of the skin can be the navel, eyebrow, nostril, septum, ear, nipple, tongue, etc. The holes created for body piercing are permanent, even if after the first year, the person never wears the body jewelry again.

In addition to permanence, piercings are associated with dangerous health risks. Body piercings can become painfully infected. And, according to Dr. Absar H. Haaris, of St. Agnes Hospital in Philadelphia, getting a body piercing “increases the risk of hepatitis B and/or C” and HIV/AIDS. The increased risk is so great that the American Red Cross and regional blood banks have begun to refuse blood donations from people with body piercings.

The health risks and permanent scarring are the long-term effects, but what are the more immediate effects of body piercing, since teens often think more about the present than ten or twenty years from now? Body piercing is a painful process, and most reputable companies will not do it if the person has not eaten for fear of passing out. (No anesthesia is used.)

Before the needle pierces the skin, the area where the piercing will be made will be cleaned with an antibacterial disinfectant. The needle is then forced through the skin, quickly withdrawn, and a stainless steel or 14-karat gold hoop or hoop is placed in its place. The area will then be cleaned once more with an antibacterial disinfectant and the “piercer” will need to continue cleaning it a minimum of three times a day for the next several months. Jewelry will also need to be turned as often so that the skin does not stick to the ring or button.

The probability of infection during the first few months is high, since any clothing that rubs against the area can, at the very least, irritate the area and, in the worst case, contaminate it. Piercings, such as belly button piercings, will take four to six months to heal properly, increasing your teen’s chances of infection. If the area becomes heavily infected, does not heal properly, or has a reaction to metal jewelry, it will need to be removed and the area allowed to heal for some time. The hole will still exist, but nothing will be able to reside in that hole.

Still, the health risks of body piercing are great. And so are the expenses involved. The procedure and design (or jewelry) alone can cost anywhere from $60 to $100. In addition to the cost of the procedure itself, there is the expense that fashion can cost your teen in the future. Many companies won’t hire people with visible body piercings (or even the visible holes left over from one). Body piercings can end up limiting your teen’s career potential—unless, of course, they want to be in the NBA. (Think Dennis Rodman.) But have you ever seen a lawyer, doctor, or electrician with a nose ring?

So what are your teen’s alternatives if they still want the “cool” look of a body piercing without all the pain, expense, and health risks? Body jewelry for people without piercings is available at stores like Claire’s Boutiques. Clip-on nose rings and belly button rings are available in a variety of sizes, styles, and metal colors. Temporary body jewelry may be enough to appease your teen until you both finish your research on the procedures. And if it’s so important to your teen’s life, ask if she’ll wait until she’s 18, the legal age to get pierced in many states; then, if he still feels the need, grant him your permission, if not your blessing. Because some things, when he’s old enough, he’s going to have to decide for himself.

A GREAT BOOK ON THE SUBJECT FOR MORE INFORMATION:

The Dangers of Tattoos and Body Piercing by Laura Reybold (The Rosen Publishing Group) offers an objective look at body art, explaining the terminology, history, processes, dangers, and care. This book is part of the Everything You Need to Know series, written specifically for teens.