Helping around the house teaches everyone in the family the importance of contributing to a team. For children and adolescents, it also instills a sense of worth and competence, both of which help to develop better self-esteem. When dads contribute regularly, it eases the load on mom, shows she’s part of the team, and sets an important example for her children.

Many parents don’t have their children do regular chores until they enter their teens and this makes implementing them much more difficult. Start early so that children grow up with the expectation that chores will be normal. Younger children can help sort clothes, make the bed, and pick up toys, while older children can vacuum, unload the dishwasher, and take out the trash. Around the age of twelve, kids can handle almost all household chores, and when they’re old enough to drive, sending them out on simple errands is entirely appropriate.

It’s normal to find it difficult to implement regular chores for your children, but don’t let that stop you from sticking with it, especially with teens. Teens are often busier with school, part-time jobs, and busy social lives outside the home, making it easier for parents to let go of their regular household chores.

How to get kids, teens, and even dad to contribute to family chores:

Start early and be consistent. If children have grown up expecting chores to be normal, you’ll encounter less resistance along the way.

Lead by example. Show younger children exactly what you want them to do by demonstrating the task at hand and racking up praise when they’re done. Give teens specific instructions for tasks so they know exactly what is required, and be sure to thank them when they consistently remind themselves to follow through on their responsibilities.

Ask for help. Sometimes all you need to do is ask your spouse for help. Your partner may be used to you taking care of most of the household chores, or may not be aware of something that needs to be done around the house (even if it’s obvious to you)! Just ask.

Studies definitively show that children and adolescents who participate in family tasks and assume family or community responsibilities are ultimately happier with themselves and their families, have better family values, higher self-esteem, and grow to be more productive in society. Families that work together at home also have a better bond with each other. Cleaning the kitchen, weeding, or shoveling the driveway are all great opportunities to chat about your day or life in general, while working with family members.