We strolled down the palm-lined street in the warm Florida night, my sister and I, my grandmother and her friend. The laughter was loud and wine flowed from the brimming cups in their hands. No doubt they were enjoying their vacation. But then again, it was hard to tell when my grandmother was in vacation mode and when she was her normal, boisterous, fun-loving me. That particular night, she saw a Rolls Royce… the car of her dreams. Wine glass in hand, she jumped on the hood and begged us to take her picture. That is a moment in time that I will never forget.

Whether my grandmother was partying with her sisters, hosting large family Christmas gatherings, running her boutique of over 30 years, tending her orchids, or making sure she did her duty as a devout Catholic by having us all attend Mass every Sunday. , she was always the life of the party.

There was not a day that I was not surrounded by my loving grandfather and his husband of 71 years. By all accounts, she lived a good, long life. At 92, her failing health proved too much and she passed away peacefully in her home. The fact that she was at home instead of a nursing home or hospital was a blessing to our family. We could call and visit with security protocols until the last hours of it.

For a woman who would have wanted the party of her “life” (pun intended), her funeral was attended by fewer than 30 of her closest relatives. Cousins ​​and relatives living out of state were asked to stay home for fear of spreading covid to each other and to my 96 year old grandfather.

Our small group of relatives attended the funeral, buried her in the cemetery, and gathered at her home for an informal cookout. He felt uncomfortable, not knowing how to act if we couldn’t hold each other, tell stories out loud, talk up close, ourselves. My heart ached from the normality of our pre-pandemic family gatherings.

I know that others have felt the side effects of Covid and its impact on their experiences around death and the emotions of grief. In fact, others have suffered much worse than our family. Complaint is a common thread running through society during a pandemic. If the emotion of the grievance is due to the loss of a job, a loved one, a relationship, a pet, a home, etc. isolation amplifies our dark emotions.

After my family’s experience with the passing of my grandmother, I began surfing the web to see what resources were out there for families in situations like ours.