As the mother of a six-year-old girl who is already signing autographs, many parents have asked me what I did to develop her talent. Do you attend a public or private school? Do I homeschool or hire private tutors? What activities do I put it in? How did I first realize that she might have a special gift?

Of all the questions I am asked, the most important is the last one. How did I first realize that she had a special gift?

This essential question engenders the premise of my core belief that every child has a special gift lurking within. Each person has an innate aptitude that they were born with and the challenge is to help them discover, discover and realize that aptitude in a healthy and positive way.

If you want to discover the innate talent your child was born with, ask yourself three questions:

1. What does your child choose to do when he has “nothing” to do?

2. What do they do so often that you’ve even asked them to stop because it’s starting to drive you crazy?

3. What do they do so naturally that they don’t even realize they are starting to do it really well?

If you can’t answer these three questions, here’s a suggestion. For several weeks (or longer hopefully) TURN everything OFF with electrical cords, buttons, batteries, and displays.

What does your child do when it seems like he has nothing to do? Do they take your toothpicks and glue a bridge together, or do they scribble on all the paper within their reach? Do they read books by flashlight long after bedtime or create stories about imaginary people and events? Do they carve sculptures out of the butter pail, sing along to every song they hear, or gaze at the stars? Do they dance alone in their room even when there is no full moon? Do they write poems or short stories, play kick the can for hours, make rhythms on the tables, do magic tricks, come up with science experiments in the backyard, play tennis against the garage door, cook fluffy western omelettes for their little sister? ? , fly kites, create collections of insects or insist on combing the dog?

Each of these activities suggests a natural direction that might indicate your gift.

Creativity doesn’t flourish under the weight of a busy schedule, so choose your activities sparingly. Perhaps planned lessons work well with your lifestyle, but simply making the tools of your child’s perceived talent available might be enough. If your child seems to like art, instead of worrying about the mess, get a plastic tablecloth and take out some art supplies. If your child plays the rhythm on the wall, don’t complain about the noise, better consider buying a drum kit and earplugs for yourself. If you like to read, take a trip to the local library or join a reading and writing club. If you like to collect critters, don’t make fun of your six-legged friends, enjoy knowing that they may have a budding entomologist or vet in your house.

It’s hard to find our special talents when we’re paralyzed by modern media. Creativity and self-discovery are not inspired when spoon-fed by others in such an enticingly easy and fascinating setting.

Once the external noise is muted for a good part of the day, you can quietly observe what it is that makes your child interested and interested; you’ll be well on your way to helping them, and perhaps yourself, discover that special innate genius talent that each of us receives as our first real birthday present.